I had a blast making content for the Intergalactic pieces in our Top Secret collection last year. Aliens? Advanced technology? Intelligent life!? I've been looking my whole life for some intelligent life! Plus, it shares the same name of my favorite Beastie Boys track; who operated their label in the 90s from the same building Han Cholo was now headquartered in. The stars had aligned and Brandon entrusted me with this project. Needless to say...I got way too into it.

As a kid, I was the webmaster of a now defunct GeoCities site that classified myths and urban legends, so I had a pretty good understanding of little green dudes with big eyes. Brandon had been working on these jewelry pieces for years, but with my background and expertise, there was absolutely no pressure at all.

My approach was to draw inspiration from The X-Files and toss in a little bit of "noir" vibes for some flava™. I set up the tripod and picked out random stuff around our offices that might be found on the desk of an undercover secret agent. I had no idea that what would follow next would change my life forever. (Spoiler alert: Daytime Emmy Nomination!!!!)

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I started with the Awoken Ring. Notice how he sets down some coffee? That is called foreshadowing. This is what very professional writers and directors do in their movies. For example, in the 1999 box office hit The Sixth Sense, there is a scene where Haley Joel Osment's character says he sees dead people. After this scene, you actually see him see the dead people that he said he could see earlier. See? He foreshadowed it! Easter Eggs are all throughout that movie. Just google it. Like how every time the color red is in the shot, it means you have to drink. Great movie, but a misleading title for anybody with fashion sense, amirite? Moral of the story: directors make movies.

Next up was the UFO Ring. My favorite of the bunch. You can invade anybody's space with this ring and some imagination. Just hover your hand over their head and beam 'em up, Scotty! The idea behind this video was that the agent wasn't really feeling his fit that morning...and so he then decided that tampering with evidence might look better on him. He knew this could max out his style stats if he tried it on, but he didn't expect to get maxed out of this world! Major Tom? More like major plot twist! He was trying to hi-jack someone else's style and the style hi-jacked him. The moral of the story is: don't bite someone else's style.

I'll be honest. When I first saw the Classified Chain Bracelet, I wasn't sure what made it so...classified. It's just a chain bracelet, right? WRONG. It was deceptively familiar in appearance, but it's unlike any other bracelet on the planet. Brandon specially designed its one of a kind locking-clasp mechanism, making this bracelet unique in the literal sense. I found it oddly satisfying to clasp and lock into place, and it's a fresh take on a classic look. Definitely something worth keeping...and a design worth keeping classified. The agent in this scene is really just showing off to be honest. Nobody really needs to move all fancy like that just to put a bracelet on. However, he could be moonlighting as a magician. We don't really know. Therefore, the moral of this story is: don't judge a secret agent by its cover.

When talking with Brandon about these pieces, the story behind the Future Primitive Ring is by far the most interesting. It's hard to say whether or not the idea was actually his or some alien lifeform he'd been contacted by. The idea came to Brandon in a dream. The ring itself is his best effort to recreate the alien-like technology he bore witness to. The concept behind this video was that some alien was somewhere trying to start drama with some other alien, and then the agent got radioed to come in as back up. This guy never gets to go to his desk and just sit. I bet he can't stand that. Moral of the story: there isn't always a moral to the story, but sometimes a pun.


Most filmmakers keep to their own unique style by reusing certain elements throughout their career. Like Wes Anderson with his usage of the font Futura, or Rob Schneider with the audience walking out to the lobby and demanding their money back. This really sets their movies apart from others and you instantly know when you're watching their films. I think my trademark element is an obvious one. It is a message. A message of hope. Hope...that my cinematic efforts get me to the red carpet. (If this were The Sixth Sense, this is when you'd have to drink.)

Wash your hands and don't forget to vote.
Signing off!

-Zedadiah